I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
