If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You left your phone here
Wait...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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