with your own penis?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've blown a few things in my day
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
