You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
