I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
