how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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