the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
