you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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