we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
