he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do herpes really smell.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Are we still banned from the library?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
