Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
