im drinking this country out of the recession.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
