I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
