before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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