you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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