Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
