her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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