so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
