You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize