Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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