She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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