I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Couch. On fire.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
