He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize