she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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