i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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