i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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