I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
