I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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