I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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