her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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