hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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