My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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