i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
