**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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