ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
