whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
