Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
