Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
