shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
