There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
