Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
