um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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