What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
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You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You don't make any sense
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