Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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