sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
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I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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