i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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