Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
