Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
