so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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