It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
