So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
