She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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