What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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