Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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