but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
