I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
