The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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